The Genuine Mom

Medical Gaslighting: The Lasting Impact of Being Dismissed and How to Rebuild Trust in Yourself.

Have you ever left a doctor’s appointment wondering if you were imagining your symptoms? Maybe you were told it was anxiety; maybe you were told your tests were normal. Or maybe you were reassured that what you were experiencing was “normal” or that you simply needed to wait and see what happens next.

So you went home; you tried to convince yourself they were right- they’re doctors after all; they should know. And maybe, eventually, you even started questioning yourself too. Was I overreacting? Was it really as bad as I thought it was? Did I make the symptoms a bigger deal than they actually are? Was the pain as bad as I thought?

What Is Medical Gaslighting?

Medical gaslighting describes experiences in which a patient’s symptoms or concerns are ignored, minimized, or attributed to something else. This can leave the patient questioning their own perception and feelings.

It can look like:

• Being repeatedly told your symptoms are “normal” without any thorough explanation
• Having legitimate concerns blamed on anxiety without appropriate evaluation
• Being told that something is “all in your head”
• Feeling like you’re being difficult for asking questions
• Having your concerns dismissed because testing hasn’t identified an explanation yet
• Being told to simply wait even with constant or worsening symptoms
• Feeling talked over or ignored at appointments
• Leaving appointments feeling embarrassed for speaking up

Not every medical mistake or disagreement is medical gaslighting. Healthcare is complicated, and diagnoses aren’t always immediately obvious. Tests have limitations, and sometimes providers genuinely don’t have an answer yet.

But there is an important difference between:

“We don’t know what’s causing this yet, but we’re going to keep investigating.”

and:

“There’s nothing wrong with you.”

The first acknowledges uncertainty. And the second can leave a patient questioning themselves and feeling like it’s ‘all in their head.’

The Impact of Medical Gaslighting Goes Beyond One Appointment

One of the hardest parts of medical gaslighting is that you may stop trusting yourself. Research into diagnostic errors shows why being heard and appropriately evaluated by a medical professional matters. The U.S. Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality estimates that approximately 5% of U.S. adults experience a diagnostic error in outpatient care each year. While citing estimates that hundreds of thousands of Americans may experience death or permanent disability associated with diagnostic errors annually.

These figures refer to diagnostic error, not medical gaslighting specifically, but they show why delayed or missed diagnoses can have serious consequences. And it’s important to note that these numbers are only for the U.S. population and don’t even begin to cover the impact of medical gaslighting and neglect on a global scale.

Medical gaslighting shouldn’t be blamed for every diagnostic error. But when a person’s concerns are repeatedly dismissed, the consequences of not being taken seriously can be very real, life-changing, and even life-taking.

My Experiences With Medical Gaslighting

For me, medical gaslighting has become very personal. It hasn’t been a one-time thing for me. Having had endometriosis since I was 12 years old, I have been the victim of medical gaslighting on multiple occasions throughout my life. “It’s just bad periods.” “You’re being dramatic; everyone has pain.” “There’s nothing wrong.” “The tests are normal.” Words that followed me through my entire teen years and into my twenties.

Dismissal of Severe Preeclampsia Almost Cost Me My Baby and My Life

Then, when I was 22 years old and pregnant with my third child, the pregnancy was high risk due to a blood antigen issue. I was required to go to the hospital once a week for a visit with my high-risk pregnancy specialist. But around 30 weeks, that specialist went on vacation, and I was left with his resident to handle my care. During that, I developed shortness of breath, extreme weight gain, swelling, severe head aches, black outs, seeing stars, pain on my side, fatigue, and a feeling of impending doom. I would tell the resident at my weekly checkups that something was wrong, and each time she would dismiss it with, “It’s just pregnancy.” “It’s because you’re so young and already pregnant with your third.”

The excuses continued until one day, when I was 36 weeks pregnant, my regular high-risk OBGYN returned and noticed that my latest ultrasound showed my unborn baby to be extremely small for his gestational age. He explained that my baby was IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction, also known as fetal growth restriction) and they weren’t sure why; he also explained that I would likely need to deliver him early. He then asked me how I was feeling, and I explained the symptoms, but quickly followed up with, ‘But it’s just pregnancy, as the resident says.’ The high-risk OBGYN didn’t take that answer and checked my blood pressure only to discover that I was severely preeclamptic. That’s right, I had severe Preeclampsia for weeks, and somehow didn’t have a stroke or seizure. Thank goodness.

But that story isn’t unique. When I started working with the Preeclampsia Foundation, I quickly learned that thousands of other women shared similar experiences of medical gaslighting, which resulted in jeopardized health for them and their baby, and unfortunately, in some cases: the death of their baby or mother. All because a doctor didn’t want to believe them when they said something wasn’t right.

The Hysterectomy Disaster

Fast forward a few years to when I had ovarian torsion and was placed with a local gynecologist who then spent years telling me there was ‘nothing wrong with me’. Putting me on this pill, that pill, this experimental procedure, and then another. When she recommended we remove the uterus, I agreed because I was so tired of being poked, prodded, and made to feel like a test subject.

Only the hysterectomy didn’t go as planned; I woke up unable to pee. And was then medically gaslit for nearly a year. Nearly a YEAR of me saying, “I can’t pee.” “I have no sensation to pee; I sit on the toilet, and nothing comes out. I have to bear down and push. When a trickle starts, it just stops.” Her responses were always the same: “There’s nothing wrong with your bladder.” “The hysterectomy went fine.” “You need to retrain your bladder.” “You need to set timers.” “This is psychological.” “Drink more water.”

Even with chest palpitations, a sudden spike in blood pressure, swelling, hardening of my abdomen and more concerning symptoms, she didn’t care. Not until I became a medical emergency with over 2,000cc of urine in my bladder (keep in mind the average bladder only holds 400 cc-600 cc maximum).

After being transferred to a uro-gyn and a urologist, it was determined that I have an underactive neurogenic bladder (essentially paralyzed) from the hysterectomy. Something that could’ve been addressed immediately following the surgery with my inability to pee. And had it been properly diagnosed and dealt with I would not have irripairable damages. But now I live with a Supra Pubic Catheter for continual drainage to combat backing up into my kidneys. All things that could’ve been prevented if the original surgeon had just believed me.

What Happens When You Realize You Were Right to Be Concerned All Along?

You might think that finally getting an answer would make everything better. But sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it creates a completely different set of emotions. Anger, grief, confusion, fear and a deep question that can be difficult to shake: “Why didn’t someone listen to me sooner?”

Medical Gaslighting Can Change the Way You See Yourself

Before being dismissed, you may have trusted your instincts; you would notice when something changed; you would ask questions when you didn’t understand. You assumed that if something was wrong, you could tell your healthcare provider and they would help you figure it out. After repeated dismissal, that confidence can disappear.

When you have a symptom that’s out of the ordinary, you may wonder: ‘Am I imagining this?‘ You feel different and think: ‘Maybe I’m just anxious.’ You want to call your doctor but worry they’ll think you’re making too big a deal out of something so small. When you have a medical question, the voice in your head may say, ‘They’re going to think I’m difficult.’ This is one reason recovering from medical gaslighting matters. You shouldn’t have to abandon yourself to receive proper, respectful healthcare.

Why Recovering From Medical Gaslighting Matters

Recovery doesn’t mean learning to distrust every healthcare provider or doctor; it doesn’t mean assuming that every disagreement is medical gaslighting. And it doesn’t mean diagnosing yourself.

Instead, it can mean learning to say:

• “Can you explain that to me?”

• “I’m still concerned because this feels different for me.”

• “What should I watch for?”

• “What are the next steps?”

• “What should I do if this doesn’t improve?”

• “I’d like some time to think about this.”

These aren’t unreasonable responses; you don’t have to become a medical expert to advocate for yourself. Your healthcare provider brings medical knowledge and expertise, but you bring knowledge of your own body and your lived experience. Both of these matter.

You Don’t Have to Know What’s Wrong to Know Something is Wrong

This is something I wish more patients were reminded of. You don’t need to diagnose yourself or know what condition you have. And you don’t need to understand every medical term. Walking into a medical appointment, you can simply say: “Something has changed, and I need help understanding why.” That phrase is enough to start a conversation that matters.

Learning to trust yourself again isn’t about believing that you’re always right; it’s about believing that your observations are worth bringing to the conversation.

Reclaiming Your Life After Medical Gaslighting

There is a point in the healing process where you have to decide that what happened to you doesn’t get to take everything else with it. The appointment that went bad doesn’t get to take your voice, the dismissal doesn’t get to determine your worth and the diagnosis doesn’t get to become your entire identity.

The person who didn’t listen to you doesn’t get to become the voice inside your head. You can learn to advocate for yourself, to prepare for appointments, to bring someone with you, to write down your questions, ask for clarification and request another opinion when needed. Building relationships with healthcare providers who make you feel like a participant in your care rather than a problem they have to manage is so important. And with these small steps, you can slowly start trusting yourself again, through which you are reclaiming your life.

I Created ‘I Know My Body’ Because I Know What Comes After Medical Gaslighting

My experience with medical gaslighting didn’t end when I finally received answers. There was an entirely new journey waiting for me. I had to work through what had happened to me, rebuild confidence to speak up again, and to learn that asking questions didn’t make me a difficult patient. I had to find a way to move forward without allowing those experiences to convince me that my voice didn’t matter.

That’s what I created ‘I Know My Body: Recovering From Medical Gaslighting‘. It’s not another medical textbook filled with things you don’t understand. It’s not a guide to diagnose yourself and it’s not about teaching you to distrust doctors. Rather, it’s about what happens after you’ve been dismissed.

It’s a patient-to-patient digital guide created from lived experience to help you:

• Understand the emotional impact of medical gaslighting

• Recognize how dismissal can affect your self-trust

• Finding your voice again

• Preparing for future healthcare appointments

• Developing practical self-advocacy tools

• Navigating difficult conversations

• Recognizing healthy and unhealthy communication patterns

• Processing the emotions that can come after being medically gaslit

• Beginning to trust in yourself again

Throughout the guide, you’ll find reflection exercises, journal prompts, practical tools, conversation starters and reminders designed to help you work through your own experience. Because sometimes what you need after medical gaslighting isn’t another person telling you what to do. Sometimes you need someone to remind you that you are allowed to participate in your own care.

You Are Allowed to Find Your Way Back to Yourself

Maybe you’re still angry, grieving the time you lost or afraid to go to your next medical appointment. On the other hand, you may still be questioning whether you should have spoken up sooner, leaving you unsure how to trust yourself again. And that’s ok. Recovery doesn’t require you to forget what happened to you; it doesn’t mean you have to pretend like it didn’t hurt, and it doesn’t require you to become a fearless version of yourself. It simply asks you to start listening to yourself again, one question, one appointment, one boundary, one moment of speaking up and one reminder at a time.

You don’t have to earn the right to be heard, to be the loudest person in the room or to know exactly what’s wrong to know when something feels very different. Your experience matters, your questions matter, your voice matters, and you deserve to have a relationship with healthcare where you can ask questions without feeling ashamed for having them.

If you’ve experienced medical gaslighting, you don’t have to stay stuck in the aftermath. You can begin rebuilding your confidence, trusting yourself and reclaiming the parts of yourself you lost along the way. That’s why I created I Know My Body: Recovering From Medical Gaslighting. Because a patient-to-patient digital guide for finding your voice, rebuilding self-trust, and moving forward after being dismissed is important.